The Girl Next Bench

As always, men propose women, boy proposes girl, male proposes female. But there are exceptions let it be president or executive(if u get it, leave a comment 🙂 ). Its either due to lust, or affection, or love, or just at a gunpoint. Happened recently in India, recently a groom was made to wed this bride at gunpoint. But even after all these cases, govt have rules for female abuse, no shit for male abuse. As some slum poor electorate said, after taking bribe, its doesn’t matter who is in position for next 4/5 years; what matters is whether we have bread/rice for next weekend to eat, this matters to us…

Coming back to the girl next bench, oh boy she was cute. Seeing her just made my heart skip a beat, even when I knew her from two and a half years. But me, lazy, unbathed and ungroomed,smelling like the biryani I ate the night before, went to her, obviously to ask a doubt 😦 Missing classes have their own perks after-all, apart from missing class ofc.

Later I took her notes. She maid one of those class topper notes which are informative and everyone wants, but no one goes and asks directly. Well I did. And that’s how it all started. Even guy like beiber can get a disney princess, anything is possible in world after this…

Everything here is fictional and I am, well i don’t know, waiting still maybe? for something magical to happen….


Everything Has Changed ft. Me

All the way from having posters of girl known for slut shaming on my wall, to all those motivational quotes of Jobs. (btw she is an amazing singer, I listen to every song of her and I still have her posters on my wall, cuz she is amazing. He too is <3). Everything I used to before has changed. I used to just game all night and sleep all day. Game and Sleep. Peacefully. But there are few responsibilities which an engineer acquires, more like late realizations when there parents are just spending over one and a half million on just educating his child so that he can sit all day in room, not go class (thx to 0% attendance policy) and watch movies and tv series; sometimes game.

Now coming to 3rd year of engineering, realizing that being unable to achieve anything in the past time is not an achievement. Even when internship interviews asked me where I see myself after 10 years, I saw myself in front of computer playing CS:GO, having a D’lore and Howl; and a Stat Kara Crimson.

But now, this mere instinct of one being responsible for his own life is striking me hard. Hard enough that I am going more than 70% classes, getting more than av/2 in exams and doing assignments on my own. well not all. I guess I only had a wrong road, not a wrong direction.

Research papers were never so boring. Coursea is so interesting. Coding was an art. Amazing art. People are so amazing. I was indeed on a wrong road. And coming back to right road costed me a lot of my time and making distance with a lot of people whom I know. There is no easy way.

But one thing I realized from all these. People only show respect to you, if you are better than them. Not having a bff still haunts me. But eh, its fine. I just have to live with it. Being lonely is never easy. One has to eat alone, walk alone, be alone most of times. And you get this phobia where one starts thinking people doesn’t want to be with you. But isn’t always true, but it is true more than its false. One of the reason I don’t go to class. And that I don’t want to study mechanical.

Well thanks to administration, taking courses I like were easy. Randomness played its part this time, hoping for next time too.  Going to class regularly after 2 years, and for first time being interested in what is being taught, just feels amazing. I never felt like I was doing engineering till now. Its just amazing. Changing my life was not easy, but indeed it was necessary, else there was no future, thus no like to live upon.

Lovely Laziness… :(

Laziness is an old friend of many people. Not Elon’s. Many people don’t get it but laziness is a huge factor which is affecting many lives. Let it be a student, engineer, employee of a company or any other person with a social or moral responsibility.

Laziness is that part of cheese on pizza which is dry, but still on the pizza. You can not eat it, but you eventually will eat it. Laziness is that book in your bag which you know you will never need it, but you wont remove it either. Laziness is something which is like an unwanted hobby. Everyone acquires it eventually. But hardly a few manages to not.

And it is also one of biggest factor between success and failure; between right and wrong; between every good thing and bad thing; Once a lazy man, always a lazy man.

I will tell you a few tricks to try to remove laziness from your life. As one gets up, he/she should make his/her bed. First task as you get up. Doing it will boost your confidence and will acting as foundation for other tasks overlooked due to laziness. And that one thing will improve your lifestyle in an unimaginable way. And also stop snoozing your alarm…

Life is too short to make one’s bed? Well then so be it. But first make your bed. 🙂

And Laziness was one of factor of me not blogging. I had to go through a lot of things, including working as full-time time-waster for 2-3 weeks. Got to clear my schedule, and start working on with my life.

As someone said, “Winter is coming, and Exams are coming with it”. It holds true here, does it there? Cya next time very soon maybe after exams 🙂

It was Friendship Day ffs

Checklist to not enjoy friendship day (I stay in hostel :3) :

  1. Wake up late in afternoon, because no one wants to wake you up, because nobody likes you.
  2. Got to wash your face and see your long lost neighbor.
  3. Get Brush and Paste, afterall they are friends and they stay together.
  4. Take Guitar and start practicing to listen how you are disturbing the person in next room and his friends in his room.
  5. Wait till last 5 min for lunch, and go lone for lunch. Sit alone among all the 160 benches of 8 seaters, each being occupied by a group of friends you know but don’t know whether they know you…
  6. While coming back, get ignored from past neighbor roommate as if you are a stranger.
  7. Come back to room to see all locked up rooms in corridor because all planned to go outside. Oh that’s why there was a meet I wasn’t invited to.
  8. Spend the rest of the time in room watching movies, playing games etc etc.
  9. Hear sound in corridor, open door just to get ignored, and get to know that your wing mates went outside for a movie and lunch.
  10. Go back and start doing where I left, i.e., wasting time.
  11. Go to have few snacks, get to know that today was friendship day, and most of the people went outing with their friends.
  12. Go back to room. Cry. Regret coming to college. Regret staying way from family. Sober. Hated by everyone. Loved by no one.
  13. Go online, see a picture of your crush with his rumored boyfriend which you expected and wanted to be false every minute till now.
  14. Cry again. Throw tear bucket water outside window. Cry again.
  15. Sober of all this, go outside alone to bar. Take a beer. See everyone came with someone, and you have no one to talk. Cry. Drink beer. Drink another. Drink a third. A fourth. Vomit. Eat peanuts. Think what you are doing with your life.
  16. Come back to campus. Get back to your corridor to see none help a dizzy drunk friend (or just a peer).
  17. Go to bed. Call Mom. Tell her everything is fine. Tell here all good. Disconnect Call. Cry. Cry again. Fall asleep in between. Tired and not loved. Hated by all.
  18. A new day with similar routine, realize yesterday was friendship day. Continue regretting living a life like this….

Friends Fiasco #1

Being friends with all of your batch is difficult, with all your college is next to impossible. But all we need is just that one a$$hole who will spend his/her life with you. Being in college, once you are a first year graduate student, lot of hurdles come along. Having a best friend makes them easier.

Me here still searching for someone who still believes in me, see’s something in me, stays with me, laugh’s with me, eat with me, but most importantly care for me. Having a best friend is one of the best moments in life, highly went unacknowledged. People are lucky to have someone they can count on. Not all are so lucky.

In my first year I met a lot of people. Tried being nice to all. Had a very good neighbor roommates. Ended up departing from them doe to reasons. Now heard that my wing is breaking again. And here I am sill finding that person whom I can call as my best friend. After all life is never fair with anyone, or is it just me…..

Long Hibernation

After a long time I’ve managed my mood to blog again. In this free time there were many things going on in my life. Many things making me feel depressed. Many things making one feel conscious about his/her future, feel bad on the wrong decisions made, feel guilty on doing not wanted things unknowingly, but most importantly feel delighted on how I have managed till here….

Life never goes the way we want it. If it goes, it isn’t life. Many things or should we call hurdles come along the way. Many tears are shred, many seconds are wasted. Not once could someone predict what would happen. All we could do is face it or at max if you are smart enough, be prepared for it. My teachers in college always said to me that I am not intelligent, but smart enough to score good marks. I really never understood that statement. But over the time when you see on what all happens, how dots occurred, you can connect the dots. After all dots can connected seeing backwards.

I basically f*cked up two of my semesters, when I could have taken any courses, by not taking right courses. I delayed few submissions by a period of months. I starved for food, or at least good food. Lived on dimes, lived without phone. More importantly lived through one of unpleasing moments of my life. Like all of your engineering is in front of your eyes, you couldn’t do what you decided to do when you came to college, you hate your discipline, people hate you, you started hating them, you end up being alone, lonely, scared, frightened of being end up as a psycho even after all this.

It doesn’t add up when you just live a life just for surviving in this all chaos. Finding a right meaning to live, not survive, well is difficult. I’ll now stop surviving for others and start living for myself. And try to blog daily. Afterall expressing few things from heart always makes one feel good, or to say amazing.

Fuzzy Friends #2

Following up the previous post (Link), friendship is one of the strongest bonds between two humans. Being fiends is of course like being partners in crimes, but also believing, sharing and doing anything for your friend. Your friend will always be there for you, if the friendship is too strong, irrespective of the reason.

Friends can be categorized into 3 categories : Very Close Friends, Casual Friends and Hi/Hello Friends.

  • Hi/Hello Friends are basically like your classmates. You meet them daily, greet them, ask/do a favour and prefer them from the people you don’t know. It is the assurance that you know, the reliability that they are from same class/company/locality etc.
  • Casual Friends are the people with whom one hangs out, one spends time with and are the people one seeks to if any help is required, than normal people he/she knows. Casual Friends are basically like the peers with whom one is comfortable with.
  • Very Close Friends are like brothers/sisters to each other. Sometimes they are roommates, other time they are partners in crimes. They do everything together and they are the people who spend a lot of time with each other. Sometimes more than they spend with family. They are the people/person with whom one shares their breakup story, or go sneaking out from a boring class, or mischief around, etc etc.Basically do all possible things which a person does in his lifetime together. They have very strong bonding and are ready to sacrifice/give up anything for each other.

Categorizing your friends like this is not a good idea, but this is the fact. Only close friends care about you. Only they give a shit about you. Others don’t care what have you done/achieved/lost. You don’t matter to them. Of course there can be well wishers, but chances are really low. Close friends are the people who can decide few of your life-changing decisions, they are the people who can make your future, or spoil your future. They are the people who can have a major impact in one’s life and influence it to a very big content.

Choosing friends is really important. Choosing right friends/being with right people can make your life and not being can change your life. If you think someone is good, someone really care about you, someone really think you are cool, just think again about why will a person do something without seeking anything in return. Every deed is a selfish act in this world. Nothing just happens. There are exceptions, but majority of times there is a reason. A pigeon being with a bunch of crows, will act like a crow. Not a pigeon. Thinking  again before doing something foolish enough can change your life.

They can be the reason you are like this, they can be the reason you are just like this, and they are the reason you will just be like this.