Long Hibernation

After a long time I’ve managed my mood to blog again. In this free time there were many things going on in my life. Many things making me feel depressed. Many things making one feel conscious about his/her future, feel bad on the wrong decisions made, feel guilty on doing not wanted things unknowingly, but most importantly feel delighted on how I have managed till here….

Life never goes the way we want it. If it goes, it isn’t life. Many things or should we call hurdles come along the way. Many tears are shred, many seconds are wasted. Not once could someone predict what would happen. All we could do is face it or at max if you are smart enough, be prepared for it. My teachers in college always said to me that I am not intelligent, but smart enough to score good marks. I really never understood that statement. But over the time when you see on what all happens, how dots occurred, you can connect the dots. After all dots can connected seeing backwards.

I basically f*cked up two of my semesters, when I could have taken any courses, by not taking right courses. I delayed few submissions by a period of months. I starved for food, or at least good food. Lived on dimes, lived without phone. More importantly lived through one of unpleasing moments of my life. Like all of your engineering is in front of your eyes, you couldn’t do what you decided to do when you came to college, you hate your discipline, people hate you, you started hating them, you end up being alone, lonely, scared, frightened of being end up as a psycho even after all this.

It doesn’t add up when you just live a life just for surviving in this all chaos. Finding a right meaning to live, not survive, well is difficult. I’ll now stop surviving for others and start living for myself. And try to blog daily. Afterall expressing few things from heart always makes one feel good, or to say amazing.

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It’s just a Crush thing

Cutting the crap. Every adolescent once had a crush. Let it be a classmate, a celebrity (Emma Watson <3) a fantasy character or the girl from next door. Especially boys. Me being one myself, used to have all kind of fantasies with my crush. Let it be going on a cruise together or living in a villa near a beach or just being in a Ross-Rachel relationship. Or when terrorist attack your school and you save your crush in a heroic way :3 .

Living lives with these fantasies was very hard. Really hard. For me, every time she goes right past me, my heart used to go 150. Sometimes 200. Face used to go all red. Blushing on it could be seen from a quarter mile. Vin and Paul testified.

Birds used to chirp. Flowers flew around. Life was about to get a new reason, to have a wonderful life. But not always things happen as expected. Half of teens who have crushes, have themselves blocked by their crushes. And the other half have not even told anyone about it except themselves.

But after many years, still I regret of not telling her about how I feel. Regret every second of my life. What bad could have happened. Getting blocked on Social Media? It was eventual event to happen any ways. But not telling her about it? Well regretting about it every second would not be cool. Not at all.

So if you have a crush on someone, just let them know how you feel about them. No need to progress anything about it. If they feel the same way, you are lucky. If they don’t feel the same, still you are lucky that you wouldn’t live whole life with regretting about it. If they don’t know what to tell then still it would go to any of the two above decisions. You would be still lucky. But if you didn’t tell him/her, then it would be a life changer.